Explaining EMDR to Clients: How the Past Shapes Your Present
How Your Past Shapes Your Present: Understanding the Connection Between Experiences and Symptoms
Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck in a cycle of thoughts or emotions that seem to come out of nowhere? Maybe you’ve reacted to a situation and later thought, “Why did that bother me so much?” You’re not alone — this is a common experience for many of us. What if I told you these moments might be tied to your past experiences, even ones you barely remember?
In this blog, I’ll explain how our past can influence the present, why this happens, and how healing those connections can help us feel lighter and more in control. My hope is that this feels like a gentle conversation — one that helps you make sense of your experiences with compassion.
The Roots of the Problem: How Past Experiences Stay With Us
Imagine your life as a tree. The roots represent your past — the things that happened to you growing up, the relationships you’ve had, and the way you’ve learned to navigate the world. The branches and leaves are your thoughts, feelings (emotions and body sensations), and actions today. If the roots have been damaged or tangled by something difficult — like trauma, loss, or hurtful experiences — it can impact the whole tree, even if those roots are hidden underground.
When we go through something painful or overwhelming, our brain and body don’t always process the experience fully. Instead, that memory can get "stuck," almost like it’s frozen in time with the thoughts (about ourself, others, the world), emotions, body sensations, and our sensory experiences locked in time. Even though the event is in the past, beliefs, the emotions, or body sensations tied to it might still show up in your present-day life.
How the Past Becomes the Present
Think of a past memory like a song playing quietly in the background. You might not always notice it, but it’s there, influencing how you think and feel. Then, something in your current life — a sight, a sound, a smell, a movement, or even a situation — turns up the volume. Suddenly, that old "song" (the memory) feels loud and overwhelming, and you might react in ways that surprise even you.
For example:
A harsh comment from someone today might stir up feelings of “I’m not good enough,” linked to a memory of criticism from childhood.
A certain smell or sound might make your body tense up, even if you don’t consciously connect it to an old, painful experience.
Your brain and body are simply trying to protect you, but it can feel like the past is pulling you down, even when you want to move forward.